Well, my neck is all healed up from the crazy events of last week. I still have certain angles in which it feels funny to hold my head, but the shooting pains went away after just a day of wearing the dorky, ambulance-chaser-like styrofoam collar. At work everyone wanted to hear how I “did it,” and I wished to god I had a better story to go behind it. I mean, a neck injury! So exotic! And I got it by waking up violently.

(Because I like to entertain people though, I made up a variety of outlandish stories and told a different one each time I was asked. I figured that that way, it would get around that I was OBVIOUSLY lying each time, which would itself serve as the interesting story, since the actual events were so pitiful.)

(Obviously most of the backstories involved something sexual. One involved a swing that broke; another included a donkey. I don’t think I even had to go into detail about HOW exactly the donkey hurt my neck – people just made up the rest on their own.)

I worked at the restaurant a LOT this past weekend – Friday and Saturday lunch shifts and then Sunday all freakin day, for our never-ending Easter brunch shift. I cannot even tell you how much money I made, that day especially, but oh dear lord, I have spent so many hours waitressing over the past four days that I am running on pure nervous waitressing energy. A few times at work I was even busier than in my worst server nightmares.

If you have never served before, this might be new, because it was to me at first. There is such a thing as a server nightmare. It sucks, because it’s a brainless job so there really shouldn’t be so much stress associated with it, but really it follows you home. My nightmares involve my having to wait on tables on multiple floors of the restaurant at once, or on tables both inside and out, or that the hostess just keeps on seating my tables incessantly so that I have, like, 27 active tables and am never able to visit any one table more than once because I am constantly fetching drinks for each new table.

** I should hear back from the Met THIS WEEK about the summer internship, and please god let it be good news. I cannot handle a summer of server nightmares! **