Oh holy night. I am in the midst of the stupidest Saga of Ineptitude with UPS. I ordered something off of ebay, and it was due to arrive last Friday. The UPS guy only delivers to my area during the “After 5pm” timeslot, and I was at work Friday night, so I got home to a yellow slip saying they’d be back at the same time Monday.

So, I looked forward to my awesome new ebay It all weekend. Monday came, and I rushed home a few minutes early from my internship so that I could be home at 5pm on the dot, and sweet Mary mother of God, the yellow slip was on the door, saying they had come at 4:45. I was incensed. Incensed! They already have a 2 1/2 hour window in which to arrive, which is pretty generous I think, so the fact that the driver had come even earlier than the time they stated was just ridiculous. In my opinion.

So I immediately called the 800 number and asked that the local UPS branch call me back quickly, in the hopes that they could radio the driver to come back to my building that evening. Two hours later – no return call. I called again, pissier this time. A woman called back after a bit, and said that the driver had gone home for the night, so redelivery that evening was not possible. I pointed out that that was why I had made the first call right away, and she was like, “…and I can help you how?”

She offered to hold the package at their location, for me to pick up myself, but for some assy reason the UPS hold center (or whatever) for Savannah is, seriously, twenty minutes away. And involves getting on the highway and going way out in the boonies. I don’t see how this is possibly convenient for the city’s residents, but nobody asked me.

I asked that they just hold it and redeliver after 5pm on Thursday, as that was the next block of time I knew I could be home for. She said fine. All was fine, or so I believed.

DUN DUN DUN.

So I get home from work just now, and there was a yellow slip on the door! Saying they’d tried tonight after 5pm, and that it was their last attempt! Gah!!!!!!

I called the 800 number and was, like, even bitchier with THIS woman. If such a thing is possible. This woman told me that it’s not possible for me to schedule a delivery date that I want; I just have to let them do it when they can. I was like, “Who in the what? Then why does the yellow slip say to call in for redelivery options?”

So now probably the package is just going to get resent back to the ebay person who I bought it from. OMG. Flames!!! On the side of my face! Is there a higher authority to whom I can bitch and moan and tell my story of annoyance to?

Oh, if only this were happening at a time when I DID NOT HAVE PMS. Excuse me, I think my blood pressure is rising again.