I really really really am on the verge of getting a tattoo. Yep, my first one. At age 27. And of course, because I’m all old and “mature” and “solid” and crap, I’m like weighing and reweighing it constantly in my mind. Why couldn’t I just have been a normal kid and gotten one at, like, 19? Then I could’ve avoided all this hemming and hawing and just jumped with both feet, the way you’re supposed to (ie. the cooler way).

I’ve always had a specific design in the back of my mind, it’s just taken like eight years for me to solidify it. What I want is a small blue rose, which is a reference to my favorite play, “The Glass Menagerie.” I’ve never wanted it in a typical girl place, like the back of my shoulder or my ankle; I’ve always pictured it on my hand or wrist. In typical fashion, I have an extensive rationale for this, as follows:

– When you have it on a place that people only see in an intimate situation, it’s sort of like marking a sexual part of you.
– If you have it on your back or the back of your neck, everybody except you sees it.
– On the back of your shoulder, and it shows amidst the straps in a nice gown.
– On your stomach or midsection, and it gets stretchy if you get pregnant or just indulge a little too much in the ole Ben & Jerry’s. (AHEM.)
– Upper arm is masculine. (Also I hate my arms.)

BUT. I like my hand/wrist/forearm region. And I like the idea of it being in a utilitarian place that always shows, as it solves my “in a hidden place it becomes sexual” issue. I like the idea that I’ll see it a lot, and that it will never stretch.

So I’m thinking wrist. Then I started imagining how I would incorporate the blue rose idea. I have a silver bracelet with a turquoise stone I wear often, so from that I imagined a tattoo that was like a thin, curving, black line “bracelet,” with the rose in the middle. I want it to be very delicate and curving, very art nouveau, so that since it’ll be showing all the time it’ll look pretty, like jewelry, and not aggressive. Also if it’s thin enough, I could always wear a watch to cover it in a business situation, or gloves in a formal gown situation (which, let’s be honest, comes up about once every three years for me).

I went to a local tattoo shop to feel them out and get the design done. There a bunch of places in town, but most are scary army- or biker-man places. Places that are open late on the weekends, and are frequented by trashy wasted couples, one or both of whom sporting a mullet. However there is one place that is very artsy and funky, and frequented by the local art school population. It’s the most expensive, yes, but this is not the time for me to get my cheap on. So I went there, and a very nice man designed for me a very nice image, and I thanked him and left, and now I am FREAKING THE EFF OUT, because the only next step is to actually, like, get the actual tattoo.

And I am scared!

I started having second/third/eighty-ninth thoughts about the wrist thing, but then I noticed that everywhere I look lately, I see girls with hand or forearm tattoos. Also, after graduation I want to work in a gallery or museum, not a corporation, and I really can’t see a tasteful tattoo being an impediment to getting into that field. So, maybe I will actually do it.

Hold me!