Yes, so I did attend services yesterday, at the historic super-old temple downtown. (Fun fact! It is the third oldest and the only neo-Gothic temple in the country) My one jewish friend in town came to pick me up. She is a nut. She’s very nervous about specific things, like driving at night, driving on highways, and wearing jeans. She never wears jeans, only dresses. She wore a dress the one time we went bowling. (I don’t know.)

She’s come to my apartment at least four times but each time she gets lost and I have to direct her by phone. This time was no exception. I should point out that she lives fifteen blocks away and that the drive between our houses includes two turns.

Anyway, we arrived, both attired in the most matronly outfits either of us owns. We had to wait outside a bit, as it’s a really small temple and members are allowed to go in and sit earlier than non-members. We poked fun at a nearby guy who looked exactly like Colonel Sanders. He was resplendant in a straw wide-brimmed hat, seersucker suit, and watch and chain. Of course he approached us, asking if we were from the college, and we said yes, and he was too, and then I asked his major, and he answered, “Historic preservation, OBVIOUSLY,” with a little gesture to his clothing.

I pretty much hated him from that moment on. I haaaaaate supercilious, stuffy, pompous people. Especially if they are, like, my age. And dressed like Colonel Fucking Sanders.

We went in and sat at the back row, the only one empty. We ended up next to another guy from the college, so thankfully I could make awkward conversation with him, while my friend was stuck with the Colonel.

The songs (hymns? crap) started, and I knew the tunes but not the exact words. I can follow along with written Hebrew as long as I catch the song from the very beginning, and follow along in the book with my finger. Once the song has started, it goes by too quickly for me to recognize the current word in the middle of a paragraph and catch up. So I was stuck alternately humming the tune, or doing that crazy thing where you sing the words others are singing, but one second AFTER they have sung it, in a blatent display of I-have-no-idea-what-I’m-doing-ism. Yup, that was me!

Most of it went fine, and I started recognizing the songs and could sing freely in my horrendous voice.

A cute thing happened when they blew the shofar, which is a ram’s horn. They brought the kids in who were being babysat in a seperate room, so they could hear it, and the shofar-blower (crap) sounded a succession of toots followed by one long TOOOOOOOOOT, and there was a brief moment of silence before the choir sounded up, and in that one second, one of the little kids shouted, “Wow!” And everyone laughed.

So that was my experience ringing in the new year. L’Shana Tovah, peops!