Apparently today there was a big oil spill on the Savannah River, so I guess there’ll be no swimming for me in the near future. Good thing I went to the beach for a couple of hours yesterday. Too bad it was with my girl friend and her worst blind date ever. Oh man. Frickin internet dating.

I was her wingman-type-person, like in the olden days when young ladies had, like, nuns accompany them when they accompanied young men for burgers and shakes down at the town diner. Within the first 30 minutes of the date, she had decided she wasn’t interested in the guy at all, so the reast of the afternoon consisted of me sitting BETWEEN them on the blanket, and being the conduit through which all conversation flowed. The guy wanted to get in the water immediately, and we wanted to lay out and get sweaty for a while first, and instead of just going in himself he sat there with us and sighed passive-aggressively.

Dude, you’re going to the beach. Bring a book, just in case. Good rule of thumb.

Lunch afterwards was excruciating. The conversation was so paltry that he actually resorted to bringing up politics and then religion. Thankfully, they had met on j-date, and I too am of the j persuasion, so it was pretty much understood that we were all raging liberals, but still…am I just really old-fashioned in thinking you don’t bring that crap up with virtual strangers?

Oh, and if you’re wondering what it was exactly that made my friend dislike the guy so quickly, it was this exchange:

—-
Friend: [pulling up to ticket dispenser at parking lot and leaning out of window to reach] Uch, I guess this would’ve been easier if I had longer arms!

Date: Yeah, or if you’d, like, pulled up closer to the ticket machine.
—-

Which, to be fair to him, was said in a perfectly amiable, mild-sarcasm of way, and something I might have said myself. But she took it as the jerkiest thing that any person had said in the history of the world, ever, and closed off to him forevermore.

This all leads me to wonder exactly how it is that she can stand to be around me so much, because I am a pretty rude person, if I do say so myself.

As far as my life in general goes, classes, job, and bf (who I will designate E) are still uneventful. Oh holy crap, did I tell you guys that E got me a gift certificate to a spa for my birthday the other week? Omg. It was the nicest, most thoughtful, and probably most expensive present I have ever received from a non-relative, and it was coupled with a card in which he had written something about always being there to listen to my dreams and help me with them, or something to that effect. Really simple and considerate.

And his birthday is in two weeks so now I am feeling the pressure to get him something equally good and tailored to him. I have a hard time with this. I told him straight-out that the sheer awesomeness of his gift to me was inspiring terror/paralysis in me, and he was like, “Dude. You must chill,” but really, I don’t want him to think that I never listen to him, or that I don’t have as much regard for him as he has for me. It’s not even the fact that his gift must’ve cost a lot, it’s really that it was just so…nice.

We spend a good amount of our time together eating ice cream, so I might just buy him a day pass to Cold Stone Creamery or something. Amusement parks sell them; I think ice cream shops should as well.