What's going on with me?
Hi! TMI.
Hello internet, guess what I just had – my 1st bikini wax. Oh, my god! It was very exciting! A friend and I had been talking about trying it for weeks now. She brought it up and said she’d been wanting to try it but was scared and didn’t know where to go, and I was like, ME TOO, so we decided to go together. Which seemed perfect, but then we could never get our schedules straight because she always “had a commitment.” Riiight.
So finally I decided to just make the appointment and go myself. It really was not too bad. I babbled like a crazy fool through the whole thing ("So…how many of these do you do every day? Do you like doing them? What’s your favorite thing to wax?") (and yes, god help me, I actually did ask her that last one. Verbatim).
The lady was incredibly nice to me, and it didn’t hurt too too badly. Also now it looks stellar and apparently lasts for 4-6 weeks. E was very cool when I told him I was getting it done. He said, “That sounds really painful, please don’t feel you have to do that.”
Guys, take note – that is a very good response when your significant other announces their Intention to Wax.
How is your week going, internet peoples? Please share any and all fabulous waxing tales. I love twisted stories.
7.17.2006
And you go home, and you cry and you want to DIEEEEEE
Apparently today there was a big oil spill on the Savannah River, so I guess there’ll be no swimming for me in the near future. Good thing I went to the beach for a couple of hours yesterday. Too bad it was with my girl friend and her worst blind date ever. Oh man. Frickin internet dating.
I was her wingman-type-person, like in the olden days when young ladies had, like, nuns accompany them when they accompanied young men for burgers and shakes down at the town diner. Within the first 30 minutes of the date, she had decided she wasn’t interested in the guy at all, so the reast of the afternoon consisted of me sitting BETWEEN them on the blanket, and being the conduit through which all conversation flowed. The guy wanted to get in the water immediately, and we wanted to lay out and get sweaty for a while first, and instead of just going in himself he sat there with us and sighed passive-aggressively.
Dude, you’re going to the beach. Bring a book, just in case. Good rule of thumb.
Lunch afterwards was excruciating. The conversation was so paltry that he actually resorted to bringing up politics and then religion. Thankfully, they had met on j-date, and I too am of the j persuasion, so it was pretty much understood that we were all raging liberals, but still…am I just really old-fashioned in thinking you don’t bring that crap up with virtual strangers?
Oh, and if you’re wondering what it was exactly that made my friend dislike the guy so quickly, it was this exchange:
—-
Friend: [pulling up to ticket dispenser at parking lot and leaning out of window to reach] Uch, I guess this would’ve been easier if I had longer arms!
Date: Yeah, or if you’d, like, pulled up closer to the ticket machine.
—-
Which, to be fair to him, was said in a perfectly amiable, mild-sarcasm of way, and something I might have said myself. But she took it as the jerkiest thing that any person had said in the history of the world, ever, and closed off to him forevermore.
This all leads me to wonder exactly how it is that she can stand to be around me so much, because I am a pretty rude person, if I do say so myself.
As far as my life in general goes, classes, job, and bf (who I will designate E) are still uneventful. Oh holy crap, did I tell you guys that E got me a gift certificate to a spa for my birthday the other week? Omg. It was the nicest, most thoughtful, and probably most expensive present I have ever received from a non-relative, and it was coupled with a card in which he had written something about always being there to listen to my dreams and help me with them, or something to that effect. Really simple and considerate.
And his birthday is in two weeks so now I am feeling the pressure to get him something equally good and tailored to him. I have a hard time with this. I told him straight-out that the sheer awesomeness of his gift to me was inspiring terror/paralysis in me, and he was like, “Dude. You must chill,” but really, I don’t want him to think that I never listen to him, or that I don’t have as much regard for him as he has for me. It’s not even the fact that his gift must’ve cost a lot, it’s really that it was just so…nice.
We spend a good amount of our time together eating ice cream, so I might just buy him a day pass to Cold Stone Creamery or something. Amusement parks sell them; I think ice cream shops should as well.
7.12.2006
Tempting! But, no.
Today I received an email entitled, “Do you want to see the fountain of sperm?” I did not click on the corresponding link, but I’m willing to bet that whatever image/product was on the other end of it would be the answer to America’s obesity problem. “My fellow American, are you overweight? Take a look at a photo that will make you never able to eat again, for the rest of your (hopefully now longer) life.” Jesus. The phrase alone has put me off lunch.
I am without internet action at home, so I’m freezing my ass off at the school library. I’m glad they’re not stingy on the a/c around here, but holy lord, my arm hairs are all standing up. This building is huge. It used to be a department store. I wonder what the power bills are, to cool such a building as this so effectively? Possibly my entire tuition has gone to cool the library this summer.
Possibly my entire tuition savings will have to go to pay off MY electric bill this past month. I just got my first one in the mail, and it was like those cell phone bill commercials where the people drop dead from shock. I didn’t know numbers even went that high, really. I promptly went out and bought curtains in an effort to stop the molten-lava-level of sunlight that pours into my lovely tall windows that face eastward. Which were such a selling point for me when I looked at the place, but yea god, they do let some light in. You can get a lot done with your day when you wake up at 7:30am! Who knew?
Is it wrong to be annoyed that the wireless internet I’ve been stealing/borrowing isn’t working right now? On the scale of moral relativism, do I have any standing at all? (Also, does anyone have a tip for how I can jumpstart it back? I’ve tried restarting, and the signal level seems to still have lots of bars to it, so I’m out of solutions myself.)
I had a fabulous birthday, and thank you for all the well-wishes. I had pizza with six girlfriends and my one boyfriend (who is so sweet he’s almost a girl himself, and I mean that in the best possible way). I tried out a new pizza that had feta, sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, and a swirl of pesto on top, and it was delicious. Then we went to a local dive for darts.
THEN (no “and then!") we went to my favorite bar downtown, and by then it was late enough that all my friends from work who had worked the dinner shift were off, and people kept crowding in and saying happy birthday, and being so nice. All these people I barely knew were there too, which was so great and unexpected. I had three tequila shots and one complimentary-from-the-bar birthday shot, which was on fire and came with a straw. It tasted like Bailey’s but there had to be something else in there to make it flame up, right? (Kat? You might know.) My new bf held me up for all the parts of the night during which I was not dancing (grinding) with various girlfriends. All in all, a successful way to ring in the late 20s.
I woke up feeling altogether better than one would have expected, given the level of ingestion, but this is partly due to the fact that I finished off the leftover pizza at like 2am, right before bed. Mmmph pizza snarf zzzzzzzz.
As for the boy news, things are as sickeningly good as ever. I won’t say more, because I know how annoying people in love are. I know, because I’ve had MANY A NASTY THOUGHT about necking/happy/existing couples myself. I hope that this is normal.
7.6.2006
The ancients
Okay, it’s after midnight, so I am 27. One step closer to thirty, and also to death!
(My new Manfriend is in the shower right now, so it’s safe for me to be typing this; he won’t discover my bloggosity.)
(Speaking of, the ole site turned 2 a few days ago. It’s…a toddler.)
To celebrate my birthday, I will be attending class and then meeting friends out for a) pizza and b) alcohol. Tally ho! Everyone have a good Friday.
7.1.2006
Ummm…retraction. AND PURE BLISS.
I hope that that woman who was super freaking scary to me about my whole sticker-counterfeiting-thing is having a good old chortle to herself, in her home (otherwise known as Hell) this weekend. Because now it has been over a week since the whole debacle happened, along with her threat that someone high up would be contacting me “within a day or two,” so I am guessing that I’m in the clear? And that she was just eeevil? (Like the fruiiiits of the deviiiil.)
Of course, it’s entirely possible that in writing the above paragraph, I have tempted fate and will immediately get taken Downtown by, like, the SWAT team or something.
Five, four, three, tw- OW!
J/k.
Do you want to hear my good news as of late? There is a multitude. First off, I am kicking undergrad ASS in my new classes. I mean, big surprise. Twenty-six-year-old girl with a few graduate classes under her belt goes back into the undergrad program, taking Drawing 1 and Color Theory with 19-year-olds, and does well?? It’s not press-stopping time, but it’s a tiny success for me, after my crazy tumultuous last few months.
The funny thing is that I look so young that I really don’t think my professors have any idea that I’m not a typical undergrad student yet. I’m thinking (hoping) that, when I do eventually have any sort of in-depth conversation with them, they’ll glean that I’m, like, old and stuff, but as of now, two weeks in, I just seem like a really great student. Which is fun. I feel like one half of an identical-twin set who has been stringing the teacher along with identity switcheroos.
Also, I am LURVING my little apartment. My birthday is this Thursday and my mom had the creative idea to send me houseplants from 1800flowers.com or something, so I now have my first ever real plants with nice pots. They look great with my acid green walls.
And work is going well. It is very nice to just be there three shifts a week now that classes are back in. Very frightening how easily a crappy, student-type job can take over your entire brain and conversation when you have to work it 5-6 shifts per week. Also, did I mention that the money is excellent?
Thank you, tourists! You are keeping me afloat!
Finally, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, I AM IN LOVE. Yes. For some reason I hadn’t ever gotten around to writing about him (could that be because I…barely write? Er…), but for the past three or so months, I have had a male BFF. He’s another server at work and for some reason I have no recollection of him beyond about six months ago, when we first started chatting, but anyway, things developed and right around the time I moved into that mansion, he and I started hanging out outside of work. Before long, I was seeing him probably every other day, and speaking to or texting him every day. We would go to the coffee shop and get bubble tea and play board games, or watch videos in his apartment, or go to dinner, or go out boozing, or go to bingo. We were in each others’ pockets.
I could tell, after a short while, that he sort of like-liked me, but it was at the exact same time that I met and started up with ex-Manfriend, so nothing ever happened. True to how decent he is, he never made any sort of move, no matter how many shots we’d done that night.
But now it’s been almost a month since Manfriend bit the dust, and he and I finally had The Big Talk that was, like, three months coming, and now we are together. And oh my god, it is bliss. He knows me so well, and yet he still…is interested! It is incredible! And whereas for ages I had never really seen him in a physically cute way, now I suddenly think he’s just the most adorable human being ever.
Holy shit! I freaking love him!
You guys, if nothing catastrophic happened, I am seriously going to marry this boy. Mark my words.
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