I got my car back today! After six weeks of driving a large, Love-Boat-esque American rental, I got my Civic back. I am so pleased. It looks just like before the accident. Nay - better than before, because they also washed it, and I never bothered with that. So, car down, apartment to go. I move into my new studio a week from Saturday, and a week from Saturday cannot come fast enough, because let me tell you, my female roommate is a raving bizznatch.

Also, I forgot to mention this, but I have become addicted to Wednesday night bingo at the local American Legion. Yes, it is true. It is outstanding. A girl friend from work clued me in to this; she’s been into it for years and invited me along. Oh, what a sight it is!

It’s mainly elderly people, but my work friends and I get all hotted-out for it, to pretend it’s an event. You have to buy all these different packs of sheets for the various games. There is something called “coverall” and something called “speedball.” There are special markers you use to mark the numbers. They are very phallically-shaped.

See?

And people have special BAGS in which to carry many of these special MARKERS. I am telling you, it’s a whole subsect of American society, right here.

It is ringed with specially-sized pockets in which to hold your plethora of bingo markers.

And the Legion has a snack bar. The snack bar exists in some weird currency time warp back to the fifties, in that sodas cost 50 cents, sandwiches (made by little old ladies) cost $1.25, and slabs of pie on styrofoam plates cost 75 cents. At the bar, a run and coke that is 99% rum costs $2.50. If you have access to a Legion, they are probably very good places in which to “pre-game.”

And the bingo! Is very fun and also cash is involved. My first night I won $10 (a $100 pot, but 9 others won on the same ball as I). The second week, I didn’t win at all, but I was already hooked so I went back last night. And last night I won an entire game, all to myself! Which meant $50!

Which means that maybe I will consider invensting in my very own marker bag. But only if it is covered in whimsical cats. That was I can use it all my life, even when I am an old cat-hoarding-bingo-playing-spinster-lady.