It’s funny: I’ve been writing entries about myself on this site for almost two years now, and I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned one of my absolute favorite weaknesses/addictions. I don’t make any effort to hide it from my friends and family, but at the same time, I’d be surprised if any of them knew this about me.

I am an advice column junky.

I FREAKING LOVE ADVICE COLUMNS. It started with Ann Landers/Dear Abby (I get them confused. Tee hee! I’m dumb) when I was young, then I moved on to voraciously reading Dear Prudence on slate.com, and at some point I fell deeply in love with both the Tell Me About It column in the Washington Post and the advice part of tomatonation.com. I don’t know what it is about the combination of other people’s problems + advice from a stranger that fascinates me so.

Especially considering that, in my mother’s side of the family at least, unsolicited advice has been a major problem for as long as I can remember. My poor relationship with some of the women in that side of the family, namely, my mother and grandma, was actually a large part of my decision to move to Savannah. Now I am far away from them and their unbridled disappointment in how I’ve lived my life since I started making my own important decisions (probably about junior year of college and on).

What am I doing about my future right now? What is my ten-year-plan? How do I spend my days, my hours, when I’m not at work? I don’t know. I’m not doing anything substantial. I’m still working my way through Anna Karenina. I watch a lot of tv. I vacillate between doing the Slim-Fast diet for a day or so, losing weight quickly and becoming happier about my body, and then derail myself with an entire day spent gorging on crap and feeling worse and worse, both physically and emotionally. I need long-range psychotherapy to get to the bottom of my relationship with eating. Hell, all women probably do.

Did I make the right decision to quit my job in DC and come to Savannah? I love living here but I’m afraid I’ve squandered my time - it’s been almost a year, for fuck’s sake! In the long term, I can see myself either being a full-time painter (and therefore a part-time waitress/bartender, I suppose) or starting my own business. I’d love a boutique, filled with art and crafts made by connections I make in town and in my classes here. My own shop, designed how I want, run by me. All the responsibility and all the power…I’m such a classic only child.

But I haven’t really done anything yet to make either of those dreams come any closer to fruition since I’ve arrived. What is wrong with me? I am 26. I AM 26. I cannot believe I am 26. In a few months I’ll be 27. I feel like a loser.

When I was little my family and teachers said I was so smart. I’ve become more and more mediocre the older I get. I think I was supposed to do really great things, in a linear fashion, boom boom boom, no failures.

But what have I done? In college I was all poised for med school. Somewhere around junior year I became derailed: started taking art classes to supplement my genetics and organic chem classes, never took the mcats, never even looked into getting an entry-level job at a lab, even though I came from one of the biggest biotech areas of the country.

Also, it’s horrible having this break from classes in a term when everybody else is still in classes. I have nobody to talk to. Well, I have my new roommate. But on my days off from work sometimes I’m so dejected I sit around all day. Some days I might not utter a single word until evening.

Whatever this whole “life” thing is, I don’t think I’m doing it right.