Holy shit, I failed my review. I FAILED MY REVIEW. After working harder for the last five months than I’ve ever had to work at anything, I am still “not improved enough for graduate work.” Holy crap. This sucks. I have to retake it next term, and this sucks.

And I mean, I crashed and burned. Listen to some of the direct quotes from my feedback:

“significant problems with both formal technical skills and development with personal subject matter”

“level of painting skill demonstrated is below average level”

“the works seem arbitrary and easily made”

GAH. Gahhhhhhhhhh. Fuck fuck fuck.

And I’ve gotten As and Bs on all my paintings so far, so I’m just very confused. How do you get an A on a realist painting and then get told that your “level of painting skill” is sub-par?

And to think, just yesterday I was all upset about SuperFriend. Now I have something else to be overwrought about. Is that good or bad? Whatever it is, it’s been a really freaking hard year. I have cried so much this year. Is this what age 26 is about? A weird, transitional, growth phase? I need a hug.

The one semi-okay thing about it is that I found out this afternoon (after I had cried to, like, seven different people about it) that out of the seven of us who took the review, they only passed two. And one of those two had failed it the first time. This is hardcore.

I am off to my wine bar job in an hour. At least I can have a drink. Better living through alcohol.