I just got home from taking the dog for a long walk in the park. It is beautiful out! Cannot belive it is November somethingth and we are all still in jeans and t-shirts. I mean, I’m okay with cold weather too (I like it better than hot), but I admit it’s going to be much easier to take a two-month long, mild winter than the wind-whipping-down-the-streets-tearing-your-face off winter of DC.

The whole dog-walking thing is so funny. It’s like a little neighborhood association or clique. When I FIRST got to Savannah, like on my second day, I remember I took my brand new ipod for a walk in the park, and I sat in the middle where the shade and the huge gothic fountain are and just people-watched for a while. And it was then that I realized that I was still not very cutting-edge, as the Must Have accessory in town is not an ipod, like I thought, but a dog. EVERYONE has a dog here. Oh my god, you, like, have to have a dog.

Our particular dog is very funny because she’s really disinterested in meeting/sniffing other dogs. She’s not one of those dogs that, when she sees another, starts going all apeshit and pulling on the leash and you have to jerk her back all “Lily, HEEL.” She’s more content to just go on sniffing at the dirt and roots and acorns and stuff while other dogs swarm around her and put their snouts in her butt. (Sorry.)

But it is definitely funny when you encounter other dogs and owners while walking - you have to sort of greet each other, and then you both admire your respective dogs sniffing each other, and then you ooh and aah and compliment something, anything, about the other dog. Then you do that awkward little shrug/smile and wish each other a good day or a good walk or a “take care.” Repeat that every two minutes or so.

On another note, my Awesome Super Hot SuperFriend is really pissing me off lately. I feel like ever since we had our big talk in which I told him I liked him liked him and he said he did too but the timing wasn’t right yet (hopefully yet), he’s just been fucking with my head. It’s like he has Multiple Personality Disorder or something. Like on Halloween, we had this huge talk during the day at the studio, and then went for pizza, and then that night he called to see when I was going to the big party. He said he’d see me there and we agreed (or at least I thought we had) that we’d move on to a bar at a certain approximate time.

Then I was getting ready and he just showed up at the door. With champagne! It was amazing. And he hung out while I got ready and put my makeup on. He even put my fake eyelashes on me, making me lie down on the bed while he pretty much straddled me. It was fun.

My friend N came over, as planned, and they know each other so it was really fun, we just hung out for a bit and drank and all got ready together. He was being really sweet and boyfriend-y. Then we all went to the party and did party stuff. My friend N had a costume that involved me having to zip her up in the bathroom, so we’d be in there for a while together each time. At one point in the night, I realized I hadn’t seen him in a while and I asked someone about it, and it was then that I learned he’d left. A while ago. Um, what?

So I called his cell phone and said, “Hey, it’s me. Did you leave? That’s…weird. Call me when you can.” And he just never called, not that night or the whole next day. The next evening I saw him in the studio and I was sort of frosty and he was like, “Oh, I looked for you guys to say goodbye. I couldn’t find you.” I was so flabbergasted at how, like, different the night had ended than how it had began that I did not even have the presence of mind to point out that I had thought we were out for the night together. All I could say was, “Well, there were two rooms at the party, so I must’ve been in the bathroom with N.” And he was just like, oh okay. And then we started talking about something else.

And then things were great for days; we’d have long talks and he’d be very flirty and touchy and complimentary. And then on Thursday when I asked him over to watch Clue and he said he’d “probably be lame company,” I left his studio and was just like, “Well if you change your mind after class and want to come, call.” And, like I said, he didn’t call, so I got drunk. (Coping with life with wine, table for one.)

The next day, he came up to me and was all, “Hey, was the dinner good? I thought you were gonna call. I was just sort of sitting around all night.” And I was all “Pdhldh;rth? I told YOU to call if you wanted to come,” and he said he thought it had been the other way around, and then I told him he was an idiot, and if he had been sitting around with nothing to do he should have just called me.

I don’t know. It all just seems very shifty to me. I’m getting really sick of him being super-cute and sweet to me at the studio but then never trying to actually hang out outside of school. I wouldn’t care except that we went through that period, only a few weeks ago, in which we hung out ALL THE TIME, like every other day, and he was really calling and pursuing and always trying to make plans for the next time. Suddenly that has changed and I feel like I’m pursuing him and I don’t like this shift in power at all.

I feel desparate and clingy and like I’m waaay too caught up in how he’s treating me, and whether he’s made more-than-friends overtures that day, and blah blah blah. I feel like I am just always nice to him, but he’s veering between being nice and being sketchy and cold, and it’s just messing with me. I’m really upset. It’s, like, all I can think about. I feel like I’ve lost one of my closest friends.

God, making out is stupid. Let this be a lesson to you! Never make out with anyone again! It just messes everything up.