Did I tell you that every time I leave work, I get to take a styrofoam tray of buffet food with me? It’s one of my perks, don’tcha know. The food there is Southern and ridiculously fattening, so apparently everyone gains some weight when first hired, before they got sick of the food and started foregoing the free buffet tray. Good thing I only work 2-3 shifts per week, because I will NEVER get sick of the food and forgo the tray. One summer in high school I worked at Baskin Robbins, and everybody way like, “Oh you must be so sick of ice cream by now! Right?” And I’d be like, “Uhhhh…noooo. Actually, no. I still have a scoop during each shift.”

I gained like ten pounds that summer. My photos from Homecoming that fall were er, not too cute.

Tonight I had mashed potatoes, lima beans (which I get in an attempt to eat something healthy, but they are cooked to mush and floating in butter so I don’t think I’m accomplishing anything), macaroni and cheese, pork in gravy, and sweet potatoes. Also I ate one (okay! two!) cheesy garlic biscuits while working. Hopefully the bike ride home counteracted it all.

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I am on hold with Independence Air right now, and have been for like 15 minutes. Maybe nobody works there on Friday nights and the message is on a continuous loop and I will just wait forever. Do you think they will reimburse me for my used cell phone minutes if I wait on hold all night? How about if I actually die on hold? I thought calling late at night would be a good time to call. Apparently there IS no good time to call.

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Tonight at work a customer actually swatted me on the ass with his menu to get my attention. I MEAN. Was he raised in a barn?

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I’m still holding, Independence!

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Next week is the last week of classes. I have three paintings due on Tuesday and Wednesday and I’m pretty much spazzing out. I started a self-portrait yesterday and so far it looks extremely simian. Lets just say I made myself look like the missing link and leave it at that. Hopefully I can make it a little better by Tuesday or I will probably be laughed out of the program.

Note to professor: THANK YOU for having us start a painting on Thursday with a deadline of the following Tuesday! That was an excellent decision on your part, and it ensures that we will respect and admire your teaching style for the rest of our time here at school! Except, not so much. (I hate you!)

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That does it. I will DIE holding for Independence Air. Good night everyone!