Apparently today there was a big robbery and a “hostage situation” (which was later proved to have been a misunderstanding) at a Rite Aid near my apartment. I, of course, knew nothing until it was old news, because that rock I live under casts a really big shadow. I did notice, while walking to work, that one of the streets I crossed was closed off with police tape, but I just figured someone important was staying at the hotel on that block. It is funny how, living in DC, you get completely used to the fact that one VIP in town has the power the disrupt the routines of thousands of Little People.

But anyway, no, it was not a dignitary, but a big serious robbery. At a Rite Aid. At 8:30 in the morning. How much money could a drugstore have at that hour?

The only reason I heard about this was that my boss and I had a bunch of appointments today with phone and IT vendors at our new office space, and one was late because of all the roads being blocked off. When she arrived, I got a shock. This is a woman who I have been dealing with, over phone and email, for weeks, so I had a pretty clear mental picture of her. The funny part was how wrong I was.

(This would be a cool psych experiment, I think: to get people to describe what they think a person looks like based on their writing style or phone voice, and then see how it compares with reality.)

The woman was eight feet tall! And wearing high-heeled boots! And she had big hair and lots of blue eyeshadow on. I had totally been expecting someone kind of timid and demure, so I was blown away by what an amazon lady she was. I mean, she was nice and capable and thorough and everything, but still…amazon. When I introduced her to my boss, she towered over him, and he’s probably 5′10″. I know that I personally felt like an eight-year-old child standing near her, so I wonder if he felt emasculated.

Then, walking back to the office, I passed the woman who modeled nude for my Saturday painting class. It was incredible! She was wearing a big overcoat, and, you know, pants and clothes and stuff, but I still recognized her. I almost said hello, but she probably would not have known me. We did chat a few times before each class began, but seeing as she spent the bulk of the three hour period staring off into the distance, whereas I spent it staring at her naked body, I’m thinking that I have a slightly stronger mental image of her than she of me.

Anyway, I have one more day of work until I leave to see my dad and his family in Georgia. Everybody please keep your fingers crossed that I manage to restrain myself from tearing my boss’s arm off and beating him with it tomorrow. He is being a crazed ogre lately, what with us moving right after the new year. Also, he has not said a thing to me about any sort of holiday bonus, and I am thisclose to pulling a Clark W. Griswald and kidnapping him in protest.